#Car Cameras
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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Welcome to our channel! In this video, we present the ultimate solution for enhancing your vehicle's safety - the Reverse Camera 3.0. With its HD 149° wide rear view, this license plate backup camera ensures you never miss a thing while reversing. Designed to withstand various weather conditions, it is IP69K waterproof certified. Say goodbye to dark evenings with the IR night vision feature. In this comprehensive guide, we walk you through the easy DIY grid installation process, allowing you to set up the Reverse Camera 3.0 effortlessly. We'll show you step-by-step how to mount the camera on cars, trucks, pickups, SUVs, RVs, vans, and even Jeeps! Join us on this journey to safer driving with the Reverse Camera 3.0. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more informative content on automotive accessories and upgrades! #ReverseCamera3 #LicensePlateBackupCamera #HDWideRearView #IP69KWaterproof #IRNightVision #EasyMountDIYGrid #CarSafetyUpgrades #VehicleAccessories #AutomotiveTech #SaferDrivingTips
#Reverse Camera 3.0#License Plate Backup Camera#HD Wide Rear View#IP69K Waterproof#IR Night Vision#Easy Mount DIY Grid#Car Cameras#Truck Rear View#SUV Backup Camera#RV License Plate Camera#Van Reverse Cam#Jeep Backup Camera#Vehicle Safety#Automotive Accessories#Rearview Camera Installation#Car Tech Gadgets#Truck Backup Solutions#DIY Automotive#Night Driving Safety#Weatherproof Cameras#Vehicle Blind Spots#Rear Vision Enhancement#Automotive Upgrades#Car Backup Systems#Parking Assist Technology#Off-Road Jeep Accessories#Van Safety Equipment#SUV Parking Solutions
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Car Ride
╰┈➤. Summary: You and Matt are hiding your relationship from the internet because of the hate you’ve been getting from the allegations, today Larray invited you, Arrington and the triplets to be in a video where you’ll spend 24h in a car together. While you’re filming Matt can’t quite keep his hands off you when off camera…
╰┈➤. Genre: FLUFF (if you squint hard enough) & SMUTT, secret relationship, car video, YouTubers, shopping, nightly car ride, filming, off-camera scenes, and possibly more but idk
╰┈➤. Warnings: swearing, bickering, SMUT, making out, oral (m receiving), car sex, teasing, giving sloppy head in the car, praising, use of pet names ( princess ) kissing in public and probably more!
╰┈➤. This was requested by @miss-tyummy in my inbox, thanks queen for the amazing idea!
Me and Matt are secretly dating, why is it a secret you may ask? We decided to make our relationship private from the spotlight since the internet doesn’t seem to be very pleased of them dating and find a way to criticize the woman even if she didn’t exactly do anything.
It’s pretty messed up and I began to gather some hate from the dating allegations and suspicions that I might be dating Matt.
I was invited by Larray to participate in a video where we’ll be stuck in a car for 24 hours with the triplets and Arrington. Despite the fact that Matt and I wouldn't be able to spend a lot of alone time together, I was eager to record the video.
We’re at Larray’s house at first, him introducing the guests of todays video
“You know, let’s just cut the bullshit. Introducing the three same-face people!” Larray states as the triplets walk into frame together, doing different poses into the camera.
“Also Arrington with Nora!” He once again states as me and Arrington now walk into frame, also doing different poses and Arrington walks up to the camera. ( outfit here )
“I look like Naomi Campbull” He says and drags out the last word in a playfully confident tone as Larray stands next to him, holding his cat Coochie.
“Campbell’s chicken noodle soup” Larray chimes in between giggles before earning a laugh out of everyone in the room, different variations of laughter fill the room and bounce off the walls.
Everyone says their name and Larray explains what we’ll be doing in the video, funny quotes were made during the beginning of the video before we got into the main subject of the video.
»»————- ★ ————-««
We were in the car already, driving to target to buy some things we think we might think we’ll need to survive the 24 hours in the car.
Larray is in the drivers seat along with Nick in the passengers seat next to him, Chris and Arrington were in the back as Matt asked if he could sit with me in the total back for obvious reasons.
Our close friends obviously knew we were dating its just that we didn’t want the internet to find out since like I said it ca be pretty sensitive to relationships between the triplets.
As we buckled up Matt sneakily placed his hand on my thigh, making sure it’s not very visible for the cameras vision.
Nick and Larray were mostly in charge with the music but didn’t know what to play right now, handing the phone to the back.
“Can you play like ‘Super Base’ or something that we all know?” Larray says, looking into the back then back at the road.
“Yessss” Nick draws out, agreeing with playing songs similar or the song ‘Super Base’ before Matt suddenly chimes into the song recommendations.
“Play- No! Play ‘Throw Sum Mo’ ” the whole car erupts with ‘uuu’s and ‘oo’s hyping up Matt.
“Oh shit, okay Matty Pooh” Larray joked before adding in “Matt you a bad bitch” with the same tone as before, Chris has the phone from where the music is being played and I decide to chime in.
“Didn’t know you were such a baddie, Matt” I giggled as Chris played the song and everyone started to sing along to it.
As we’re driving, some road rage starts to create before it suddenly turns from hostile to all cute when I noticed a couple going to see the movie ‘Barbie’ in theaters.
“Guys look, they’re going to see Barbie!” I cheer, pointing at the couple walking into the building while holding hands. It makes me think back to when I forced Matt to take me to see ‘Barbie’ and he enjoyed it more than me after it all.
The car fills with cute sounds and the word ‘cutee’ drawn out by Nick, the atmosphere softens a bit after the slight road rage before.
»»————- ★ ————-««
After a pretty fun car ride to target we finally get to our destination, be split off into groups of two. Nick with Larray, Chris with Arrington and Me and Matt decided to go together, all of us grabbed one camera and we all enter target.
“Hello and welcome to target with me and Matt.” I speak into the camera as I raise it into the air, making me and Matt more visible in the cameras lense.
“What should we get?” Matt questions, glancing around the aisles and thinking about what we should get.
“Definitely some snacks and maybe some games to entertain ourselves?” I suggest and follow behind him on looking around the aisles.
“What about books?”
“Yeah I’m not reading a book, ever.”
I pause the recording and we walk into the snack aisle, when Matt realizes the recording is paused and no one is around anymore his hand wraps around my waist from behind as he gives me a slight peck on the cheek.
Chuckling at his sudden affection we start to look at all of the snack choices on the shelves, my eyes immediately land on a pack of fruit roll-ups and Matt follows behind me.
I turn the recording back on and raise the camera up into the air. Matt is the first one to speak up and takes control of the camera.
“So we’re at the snack aisle and this kids eyes fucking lit up after seeing fruit roll-ups” He comments jokingly but looking serious at the same time.
Dramatically gasping I turn my head to look at him with an offended face, putting a hand on my chest for a more dramatic scenery.
He only chuckles and points the camera at me, showing my reaction to the audience.
“The audacity of this man is unbelievable” Stating with drama dripping from my tone only heightens the dramatic level.
“You’re being over-dramatic”
“I’m being dramatic enough”
He laughs and I start to laugh too, grabbing the bag of fruit roll-ups anyway and showing them off to the camera.
“It’s like, huge! How can you miss up on an opportunity like this?” I say excitedly and point at the bag, showing the viewers how big it is but Matt only rolls his eye at me being excited over a big bag of fruit roll-ups. He knows damn well they’re my favorite so eh can’t really judge me.
We laugh it off and move onto getting something to drink, Matts hands are on me full time but out of view whenever its on my waist or in the belt-loops of my jeans, dragging me away from the book aisles as well as the home decor aisle, knowing we’ll be there for at least an hour.
Heading towards the drinks aisle Matt pauses the recording once again and rushes me into the quiet drink aisle, putting our cart to the side as well as the camera in the baby seat.
Matt grabs ahold of me and pulls me into a quick kiss, I return the kiss immediately and looking at the space surrounding us if anyone is around.
He runs the tip of his tongue across my bottom lip, demanding entry and when I give him access to the inside of my mouth it slowly turns into a little make out session in target.
The session is shortly interrupted by Nick and Larray sneaking up on us and scaring us, causing me to jump out of Matt’s arms.
“Whatcha guys doing, making out in the middle of Target?” Larray asks, looking at us with slight tease as long with Nick and me a Matt already know this isn’t gonna end well.
“Nick, don’t you even fucking dare start.” Matt warns Nick more playfully than a normal person would especially to their sibling, he subconsciously pulls me closer to his side by placing his hand on my hip.
“Pump the hate breaks, I didn’t say anything yet” Nick answers, the teasing slipping past his words but being barely noticeable if you weren’t looking for it. I chuckle softly under my breath at Nicks reply but pretend to cough when Matt looks down at me.
“We’re supposed to film a video, not have you guys making out off camera” Larray chimes into the conversation now, glancing between me Nick and Matt.
“What do you guys want anyways?” Matt questions to get off the topic of the little make out session we had in the middle of a target aisle that got interrupted by the guys.
“Oh nothing, maybe let’s just give you guys some alone time. Right Larray?” Nick says and looks over at Larray, nudging him on the arm before flashing him a secret message behind a teasing smile I can’t quite decipher.
Larray nods his head in understanding and they walk off into a different aisle, finally leaving us alone still being in the drink aisle.
I poke Matt into the side of his waist before looking up at him with an almost knowing look, him doing the same and glancing down at me and knowing damn well what I’m gonna say.
“I told you before we started filming to not do shit like this in public” I state as Matt just dismisses me with a small knowing chuckle and pulling me closer to his side.
“Oh cmon, don’t try to deny you didn’t enjoy that” He proclaimed and knowing the answer that’ll come out of my mouth as a small teasing smirk grows on his lips.
“I never said I didn’t, but maybe do it in a more private place next time.” With that said, I turn to look at the drinks to take to the car for the 24 hour challenge to move on from this topic.
“Okay, princess. Then let’s go to a place like that, hm?” Hearing the words leave his mouth in a soft whisper brushing against the shell of my ear sends a shiver down my spine and a jolt of pleasure between my legs.
“We’re filming a video, we can’t just leave” I reply, looking up at him with a doubting glimpse in my eyes.
"Why not?" He questions my claim, slighty pouting to try and convince me tp go somewhere pricvate with him. He uses them whenever he wants something since he knows I cannot resist them, especially right now.
He looks at me like a kid at his mother, begging her to buy them a way to overpriced toy only in this situation, he wants to toy with me and not an actual toy.
I think about his request, where would we even go or how would we even do it? I dont think theres a bathroom in this store, in the car we have to film the video so thats a no too.
"Where would we even go?" I ask, tilting my head to the side in question. Genuinely not knowing where we would go and what he could mean by 'somewhere private' when theres not really a place we could go.
"I know a way we could be alone" A mischevious smirk grows on his face as I start to sense an idea and as he continues to shop like nothing ever happened a moment ago I try to gauge out any hints of what the idea could possibly consist of but damn he’s hard to read.
| - 🍂 - |
We all finished shopping and as we were checking out it started to get slightly dark outside, creating a slight dark atmosphere when we all reunited in the car and drove away from the stores parking lot and back to Larray’s house to film the remainder of the video now and I still don’t know what Matt’s plan is.
All of us get into the car into the same seats we’ve been in before, I lean over closer to Matt’s ear as my words graze the shell of it when I speak in a soft whisper so the others can’t hear me as they all chat.
“So, are you gonna tell me your master plan or keep me in the dark?” I notice a shiver run down his spine as I whispered into his ear which caused a small smirk to faintly outline my lips.
“Just follow my lead” He whispers back and turns his head to the group, getting their attention with a simple raised ‘hey’. All of their heads turning towards us in the back.
“What is it Matt?” Chris is the first one to speak in a curious tone, tilting his head to the side in question
“I think I forgot to take something out of my car, I’ll be right back” He says and starts to head out of the car, silently signaling for me to do the same with a head not.
I scramble out of the backseat as well and stand next to Matt as he grabs the handle of the car door and closes it, grabbing ahold of my arm he leads me to his car that’s not far away from where the others are.
“Are you sure about-“ Before the full sentence could leave my mouth, I was already being pinned against the side of the car and his lips smashes on mine kissing me with hunger and dominance.
I melt into the kiss, attempting to match his rhythm as well as I could. His hands attach to my body, wandering up and down my sides and squeezing my hips.
His hands hesitantly detach from my side as we pull away from each other, his hand going to open the door leading to the backseat of the car, practically pushing me inside.
We continue or makeout session in the backseat of his car, him laying my body down as he crawls on top of me. His hand snakes down between my legs and plays with the waist band of my jeans.
A soft bite is delivered to my bottom lip which makes a soft whimper escape my mouth and transfer into his.
Deciding to tease him back I bump up my leg, circling my knee around his clothed dick and giggling at the noises leaving past his lips.
He pulls away from me and leans closer into my ear, hot labored pants puff against the shell of my ear as he speaks in a seductive whisper.
“Whatcha doing there, hm? You want something?” The words send a shiver down my spine as I take a deep breath to try and suppress the growing burn between my legs.
“Mhm” I hum out, words refusing to leave my mouth in any shape or form as heavy breathing fills the cars space around us.
Thinking he’s had his fun already, let me take control now. I push him forward and against the door of the car, making my way on top of him and grazing my hand against the bulge in his jeans.
“You’re planning something, princess. And I’m not complaining” Those are the last words I needed to hear from him before unzipping his jeans and hooking my fingers into the waistband of his jeans as well as his boxers.
I pull them down in one swift move, freeing his growing erection to my eyes. Bringing my mouth close to the tip I wrap my lips on it, swirling my tongue around the sensitive head before going down and slowly bobbing my head up and down.
His head falls back against the window of the car door, whimpers and small praises fall from his lips as his hand crawls up to my hair and creates a ponytail.
“Just like that… oh fuck” He moans out, dragging out the last words. Sharp inhales and exhales fill the air as I slowly increase my pace, wrapping my hand around the base of his dick when I try to fit him all in my mouth.
“You can do it, princess… let me help you” With that said, he pushes my head down causing me to gag as the vibration shoots up and makes a juicy moan come past his mouth.
“You’re gonna be the death of me one day”
That’s my sign to go faster, stopping at the top and swirling my tongue around his sensitive head to tease him further.
With a moan ripping from him and one more bob of my head, he pushes my head down to take all of him in my mouth as he shoots his salty seed down my throat.
Some of it escaping through the corner of my mouth I lift my head up and Matts hand places itself on my cheek as his thumb wipes off the escaping seed and pushes back into my mouth.
“That’s a good princess” He praises as I swallow, my hands attach to his pants and pull them back up along with his boxers.
“Let’s go before the guys come looking-“ My sentence gets cut off by a knock on the car window, Matt moves away from it as the door opens revealing Chris on the other side.
“Dude, what the fuck are you guys doing in here so long?” Chris exclaims questionably and then he gets an idea of what we could have possibly done.
“None of your business, let’s go back to the video now.” Matt answers and steps out of the car and I follow close behind him, Chris decided to question him later and just shuts up for now.
All of us walk back to the car and return to the video like nothing ever happened.
authors note: this took wayyy longer than it supposed to be, I took some of the quotes from the video as I was re-watching it and writing this at the same time so just a little touch to it and I hope you guys enjoyed!
Guestlist!
• @slutforsturnioloss @sturnioloblues @sturnsxplr-25 @deffonotjae @strnzzvsp @luvvs4chriss @pussypie456 @choclatestarfishwithahat @venusxsturnio @bagsbyclair0 @sturnstvs @dykes4chris @klaus223492 @hoe4matt @cayleeuhithinknot •
Please turn on your mentions to be on the taglist!
Reblogs, comments & likes are very much appreciated!
#✰ 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 ✰#smut#secret relationship#fluff if you squint hard enough#car videos#filming#car ride#shopping#nightly car ride#off camera#youtubers#long fic#matt sturniolo smut#backseat#teasing#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#requested#love y’all#- 𝐛𝐲𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬!
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#vintage cars#cars#luxury cars#foreign cars#styleinspo#style#BMW#bmw cars#bmw motorsport#BENZ#mercedes benz#MERCEDES#Classic Cars#photography#styleinspiration#tumblr#camera#car show#fast cars#car culture#New York#Fancy Cars#Fancy#fancy car#lifestyle#vintage#blog#my blog#blogger#blogs
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#mine#my photography#wisconsin#pretending theres a dude running along the powerlines to get through car rides despite being an adult is fun#regional gothic#american gothic#americana#midwest aesthetic#midwest gothic#midwestern gothic#midwest#road trip#midwest america#small town gothic#gothic americana#rural gothic#digital camcorder#digital photography#digicam#digital camera#camcorder#rural america
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#studyabroad#study motivation#studyspiration#studyspo#studystudystudy#studyvisa#student life#studyinspo#italy#study aesthetic#fruit#fruits basket#biology#study studying studygram studyblr studyabroad studyhard studyspo studymotivation studytime studyinspiration studyinspo studyaccount studyblo#home cooking#coffee break#comfort food#ice cube#cozy#coffee#chocolate#ice cream#cooking#cat#comics#cars#crafts#celebs#cameras#college
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#car#digicam#digital camera#original photographers#photographers on tumblr#photography#kodak easyshare
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Perhaps near the Pleasure Wheel is a photo station. With a single ampoule left.
#disco elysium#gouache#remember those old chuck-e-cheese photo cars#I think he would try to take a picture#those are his knees pulled up so he can fit in the little car#kim isn't there because he has to operate the camera
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Nissan Silvia S15 on PSP
#y2k aesthetic#y2k#y2k moodboard#tech#tech blog#japan cars#jdm#playstation#psp#nissan silvia#nissan#silvia s15#vintage#console camera
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✨Rally cars in their natural habitat✨: Throwback to that one time in Rally Japan 2023 when Adrien Fourmaux and Dani Sordo both crashed their cars into a same ditch in the forest
#dani sad asf here bc he had to retire early but camera director was like. hold awn lemme film this banger background shot first 👹👹👹#wrc#*#mygifs#rally japan 2023#adrien fourmaux#dani sordo#cars
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History of the Techbro
#political cartoon#capitalism#technology#ai is not art#computer#history#cars#photography#cameras#cavemen#prehistoric#web comics
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#film#film photography#photography#photographers on tumblr#35mm#film camera#35mm film#street photography#color film#los angeles#los angeles street photography#los angeles blog#aes#los angeles photography#lowrider magazine#lowrider#cars#35mmフィルム#35mmfilm#kodak 35mm#35mm camera#35mm photography
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Wow this is so cool 🛫
#nature photography#photography#airplane#nice view#good vibes#pilot#road trip#roadster#cars#camera#videography#video#view
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Hehe saw a meme post and I did a thing-
(It’s too perfect 😂)
Link to original post: here
And original photo if you guys want it:
#Pizza Tower#Meme art#Noisette is indeed holding the camera#I can’t help but think of Peppino seeing their car and just always ends up flipping them off#He has a personal grudge let him have it-#Peppino#The Noise#Gustavo
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The OM Cast as Househusbands
Inspired by my recent rant about domestic Solomon.
Contents: Pure fluff and unhinged roasts.
~♡♡♡~
Lucifer
A-tier. Generally a solid choice skill-wise.
Cooks decent, cleans well, budgets FANTASTICALLY, has a good list of connections/spells for all home repair, and even has a stern (but caring) parenting-style if so desired.
In short, Lucifer can run a house very well. He practically already does! Hope you like having a big, extended family because the brothers are coming with.
Really, the biggest downside to Lucifer is that you'll be constantly worried that he's bored... Man can run a house and then some. He probably has the daily chores done by noon, and then what?
He just has so much extra potential, is what I'm saying. Very "big, beautiful bird in a cramped cage" energy. But then again, maybe making him chill the fuck out and have a low-maintenance lifestyle for once is better for his blood pressure in the long run. Your call.
Mammon
B-tier. He ain't perfect, but he can learn quick.
If you can give Mammon anything, it's that he's a capable guy when he wants to be. He may not be good at cleaning up, cooking, or anything like that on his own, but with some encouragement...?
Big improvements made practically overnight! Shower him in praise and "thank you's" for every little thing he does and he'll start get greedy for it. Then he'll do even MORE around the house and he gets better each time.
Show him how to cook what you like, and he'll never forget. Remind him to fold up the laundry, and he'll get it done. Praise him for keeping the floors clean, then suddenly he's nagging YOU about tracking dirt on the carpet...
And he'll get so proud about it too... Like, he's your first man and you NEED him now. What would you ever do without him?? Now hand over your shirts because he has some ironing to do, dammit!!
The only downside is you'll have to handle the finances... The words "Mammon" and "budget" go together about as well as "grainery" and "match." He'll blow through it and then some. Earners beware.
Leviathan
Hovers around C-D tier. Levi can play the role of good househusband for a VERY particular kind of partner, otherwise he's a lost cause.
He is a surprisingly decent househusband ONLY when sufficiently motivated and playing out his "domestic slice-of-life" fantasies are that motivation.
He can cook (anime-inspired dishes), he can clean (if you convince him to treat the house like he does his figurine collections), he can even sew/mend (though the majority of what he makes may be cosplay related)!
He won't leave the house to shop, but deliveries are fine. He also can't keep to a budget that doesn't include a MASSIVE chunk carved out to maintain his otaku lifestyle. He'll throw a fit otherwise.
Really, Levi's biggest problem is that once those "domestic fantasies" become mundane, he'll get bored and go back to his shows and games again.
Anyone with him would need to keep feeding into his role with new "quests" or different tropes to try out like a DM running an irl campaign. Could be fun for a little while, but it'll be too much trouble for you both long term. Best give him a skip.
Satan
S-tier. Very good choice, and he's proud of that fact.
Cooks well, very conscientious of your needs, knowledgeable on many topics from recipes to home repair, actually knows how to do laundry in a timely manner... a very good man indeed.
100% the kind of husband who sees that it's going to rain, so he treks out to wherever the hell you are to make sure you have an umbrella. Can't have you getting sick.
Get him a cat and the house will become his own slice of the Celestial Realm. He'll even text cute pics/updates on what your cat is doing like they're your literal child.
Only downside is cleaning. He's a book horder and will argue until he's blue in the face to keep Every. Last. Pamphlet. An in-house library is a MUST and expect to need expansions. Otherwise, perfect man. Much approval to be had.
Asmodeus
B-A tier. Another decent choice, just a little eccentric at times.
Asmo is that partner who will happily play the part of the trophy househusband buuut he absolutely won't do anything too strenuous or dirty.
Cooking? Totally fine! He isn't amazing, but he's not awful either. Laundry? Say no more! Your clothes will never have a wrinkle again. But cleaning...? Like the floors, attic, or ESPECIALLY the bathroom??
Nope. Nuh-huh. His cute-ass hair and his cute-ass nails in his cute-ass clothes will not stand for it! He's going to beg for a maid immediately.
I guess in exchange you'll be hosting some killer dinner parties, though! Asmo has that "suburban wife who flaunts her amazing life" energy. Also keeping his influencer game alive with tutorials galore.
In short, Asmo is willing not just to spoil you, but elevate you as well. You just need to give him a little pampering in return, kay?
Beelzebub
B-tier. Most of his problems are, predictably, food related...
Beel really, REALLY tries but you are probably never going to have a meal on time (if there's somehow any food left at all).
It isn't that he won't cooking, arguably, he spends TOO much time cooking because he'll spend just as much time eating! Or running to the store because he ate the ingredients again...
Surprisingly, though, he's actually very good at cleaning and caring for another person. That's because it's what he does for Belphie. You think the seventhborn is picking up their room AT ALL? Don't kid yourself...
Probably a good time to point out that another downside (or perk??) of husband!Beel is you also get Belphie! But he's just as spoiled as ever so... Hopefully Beel's overwhelming amazingness will make up for that.
If you like Belphie and don't mind an empty cabinet, Beel is a good choice. If not, there are better options available, I promise.
Belphegor
D-tier. Shit househusband. Doesn't even try.
Won't clean, won't cook, won't shop, can't fix, can't budget, and don't even get me STARTED on the state of the sheets!!-
He is a decorative plant of a househusband. Meant only to make the room look nicer by his presence. I've seen dogs more capable and self-motivated to maintain a household than this man will ever be.
Should you somehow get him to exert the effort, he will whine and complain the entire time. And even then, he won't do much more than put some things away and order takeout.
The only upside to Belphie is that since he's always asleep, it's not like he's making the house any dirtier. Vacuuming around his unconscious ass is home life now. At least you probably get Beel too.
Diavolo
C-B tier. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm.
So... he basically can't do anything but since he's never had to, you can cut him some slack. He loves the idea of TRYING though, so you have an eager student!
He finds cooking to be a fun challenge and he isn't terrible at it. Cleaning is a drag but he likes to see you happy. You'll have to teach anything laundry/clothes related, unfortunately, and sending him to the grocery store without a very detailed list may result in him buying an entire aisle if he doesn't know what to get.
At least he'll genuinely love to hear about your day and have the biggest smile and warmest greeting for you every time you come home. He's like a big'ol puppy, just thrilled with your existence!
(Honestly, if something has him stumped, he'll call for Barbatos to help. He'll try to hide it because he wants to show that he can do things himself, but at the end of the day your happiness wins over his pride. Now let the butler fix your plumbing.)
Barbatos
SS-tier. So good, it's literally not fair.
He's been caring for another person for centuries. He has every possible skill he would need permanently etched into his DNA. He is the Grand Master of Domestic Life that all others should strive for.
Meals are at perfect temperature by the time you sit at the table. The house is so spotless that you could eat off the broom closet. Anything that breaks gets fixed/replaced within the day. He even leaves words of encouragement in the little notes packed up with your lunch. You'll start to wonder if he's an angel who's infiltrated too deep....
Barbs also seems to have a sixth sense for whenever you've had a bad day. You come back dragging from exhaustion? You favorite meal is already cooked, the bath is ready to be drawn, and would you like a shoulder rub on top of that? Feel free to vent, he loves to listen to whatever stories you have to share!
There are only two downsides to Barbatos: the first is that you are absolutely sharing him still with Diavolo and the young master is his top concern. So sorry.
The second is that moment he gets even the hint that there may be a rat in the house, he'll nuke the place with all of your stuff still in it. So keep some traps out and keep'em fresh, yeah? You'll be fine.
Simeon
S-tier. He even comes with pre-installed parenting skills! (If you're into that kind of thing).
Simeon may not have Barbs' "live to serve" mentality, but he is truly an angel to a fault. The man already acts as Den Mother of Purgatory Hall, so what would you expect?
He cooks well enough to own his own business and you can't run a business without being good with your cash. He probably has book royalties too... Plus, he cleans up after Solomon's messy ass in canon, so-
He's gonna be that husband you take to the office party and nobody will leave you alone about him for the next week. People are going to ask if he has a brother or some shit (give them Raph's number, I dare you)
Admittedly, home repair (especially of the electronics he's guaranteed to break) should probably go to someone else. Also, he is a package deal with Luke. That child is your unspoken son now, and you'll just have to deal with that.
Otherwise, he's trophy material. Marry him and carry him over that threshold! He's worth it, truly.
Solomon
I've already ranted about Solomon here. But if you aren't aware, he's D-tier saved only by the fact that he's really trying his best.
800 year-old bachelor be like: "Oh, you're supposed to change those...? They don't smell that bad after a month."
"Of course those dishes are clean! Yes, I can see that there's still food on them, but I washed them with soap. That's what makes them clean."
"What do you mean, 'Don't set the table with beakers on date night?' Isn't this one your favorite??"
"Dinner's almost done, honey! Just let me finish clubbing this octopus!" 😁
Disaster husband. Just leave him to his delusions and get used to takeout...
#*runs over solomon with a car*#*proceeds to put it in reverse and go over him again*#*thirteen in the passenger seat with a camera running*#don't worry#he'll live#i ain't going that fast#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo
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Noorhelm Nation (if you’re still alive) how are we feeling?!!
#what I’m gathering from their socials is interesting#Roko of course is a party boy who likes to drink#even though he’s popular he seems fairly reserved#which is to be expected as I’d actually consider William an introvert#I’m pretty sure he’s an ISTP or something#he’s also a soccer player!!#he likes cars (of course lol)#and posts about the gym quite a bit#but I’ve noticed that Nikola posts about that more#I’m vibing with him though he feels like an actual guy from this generation who would definitelyy break my heart#and Nora !! it seems that she’s into photography as she has a (professional?) camera#goes to art museums and has posted her drawings#so she likes art !!#she also likes reading as she’s posted photos of bookstores and books she has read#I’m really excited to see how these two portray our iconic couple#if they have good chemistry I’ll be thrilleddd#SKAM#SKAM Croatia#sram#Noora Sætre#William Magnusson#also they both wear glasses 😵😵#noorhelm#Noora x William
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